You Ruin Everything is a steamy, small town rom-com featuring puppy hijinks, unconventional friendships, a cantankerous Victorian home and a zany family at the center of it all. Enjoy this exclusive excerpt!
“What I need to do now is make a plan. I thought I had a plan. I figured I’d come here and fix the house up but this is not what I expected. This place needs a lot of work.”
Tana reached over and squeezed my hand. “You know we’ll help however we can.”
“Thanks. But I’m going to need to figure out how to get the money for this.”
Retta eyed me knowingly through the screen. “You’re regretting all those years you insisted on paying your own way now, huh?”
I gulped my wine. “Little bit.”
Maybe it was the wine but suddenly it all hit me at once. This was an impossible task and I was in way over my head. The plan that I had concocted while still in shock suddenly seemed absolutely bonkers.
“Oh my god. I’m going to need money. A lot of it. I’m going to have to sell pictures of my feet! That’s a thing, did you know that?”
Retta leaned forward, her face huge in my laptop screen. “Um, Charlie. I have bad news for you. Your feet look like two trolls fighting under a bridge. Girl, nobody’s paying for a picture of that!”
Tana snickered. “Okay, I think we can find a solution that doesn’t involve anybody’s toe cleavage.”
I stood up to retrieve the other bottle of wine Tana had brought from the fridge. The label wasn’t one I recognized but it had a picture of a bunch of grapes on it so it would have to do.
This was an emergency.
Excerpt of You Ruin Everything © M. Malone